CONFRONTATION – Part 1
Having the courage and the right reasons to do it.
The First of Many Things
There are so many “firsts” that happened in the Garden of Eden. It was in the Garden that God gave the first job to man. “Work and guard the Garden.” Some rabbis (Bereshit Rabbah) understood the Garden as the Temple, so the work Adam was to do was also considered a spiritual work…to worship. Did you know that the Hebrew word for work and worship is the same: Avodah?
What is another first, among many, that happened in the Garden? The first marriage, and the primary tenet of that relationship, given that the man and woman would now be united as one flesh. Other firsts include the first temptation, the first sin, the first sense of guilt and shame, and the first time humanity chose what clothing to wear. Perhaps we can call that the first wardrobe, fig leaves.
Divine Confrontation
But another first occurred in the Garden, addressing our present topic. Here was the first divine confrontation. This dialogue between the Lord and Adam exposes and teaches us much about the art of confrontation and the positive experiences and consequences it can bring when carried out for the right reasons.
The word confrontation comes from two Latin words, con, meaning with or together, and frons, meaning forehead or face. It means to come face-to-face, to come together head-to-head. Sadly, we have come to believe that this word really means to attack head-on or to accuse someone by cornering them.
However, from a biblical standpoint, the purpose of confrontation is to bring godly truth to the situation, and its ultimate aim is to restore and reconcile with God and with others. It is not intended to hurt or destroy but to uplift and educate.
Running From the Problem
Like Adam and Eve, most of us dislike having our sins exposed by others and we hate getting caught. We do whatever we can to avoid facing the consequences of our bad choices. Likewise, we are very uncomfortable when we must confront others about wrongdoing on their part. The solution is not to avoid or ignore the dilemma. God did not leave Adam and Eve in the bushes. When we don’t address conflict or spiritual wrongdoing in our relationships, the unrest in our hearts deepens, often leading to anger, frustration, and resentment, which in turn result in emotional outbursts and a breakdown of trust, with no shalom in sight.
“Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.” (Proverbs 10:13) Biblical confrontation, when done correctly, can and will expose what is wrong and establish what is right and holy. We need wisdom, courage, and love to make this kind of meeting meaningful and successful.
The first question we might ask is whether we want to change that person’s habit or seek renewal and restoration. James 5: 19-20 – My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
Taking a Walk with God in the Garden
Let’s take a walk with God in the Garden. Let’s see how He confronted Adam and Eve. Notice how He comes “walking” in the Garden. Immediately, we have this sense of restrained emotions, a calm, not an angry pursuit. The same Hebrew word is also used to describe the Lord walking among His people. Leviticus 26:12 And I will walk among you and be your God, and you shall be My people. This is not an aggressive chase. Some might say that God’s voice was thunderous, and that might have scared our first couple into the bushes. However, while God’s voice can be thunderously loud (i.e., Mount Sinai and the giving of the Law), it might be better to think of His manifestations (i.e., His voice) as best suited to each circumstance. Yes, God’s voice could also have been still and small, as in the account of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.
So then God is near in presence. We cannot ever consider restoring a relationship or confronting if we keep our distance. Let’s pray for courage.
Asking the Right Questions
One of the biblical ways to confront is to ask a question rather than making an accusatory statement. When the Lord asks, “Where are you?”, He does not need confirmation of Adam’s geographical location. Instead, the question format invites dialogue and reduces the likelihood of a defensive response from the one you are confronting. For example: “You are always interrupting me when I speak,” rather than in question format, “Did you mean to interrupt me, or perhaps you thought I was finished speaking?” Questioning someone gives them a chance to consider, space to respond and reflect, and the opportunity to be the first to make a statement.
We notice that God is not forcing Adam to confess, but through questioning, He gradually exposes the heart of the matter. He asks a total of four questions, three to Adam and one to Eve. But note that to the serpent, God does not ask questions but immediately pronounces judgment. God’s intent was not to reconcile or redeem the serpent, not as He does with you and me.
Stirring the Conscience
God helps Adam understand why he was afraid, reveals the reality of his shame, and exposes his disobedience. This works so well because people often experience the consequences of their sins before recognizing where the sin originates. Nathan’s confrontation with David is a good example. David’s sin of killing Uriah and taking Bathsheba required the prophet’s intervention. Bad things were happening in David’s life (the death of the baby), but it was only after the parable that David understood his sin. This is another great way God brings self-awareness of sin. We are not there to condemn or cause shame. We want to restore and reconcile our relationships with God and others. Our desire is to bring about repentance and change.
Let’s consider someone we need to confront this week. Let’s pray that our meeting be guided by a patient, non-accusatory spirit. Let’s be truthful in love and choose to make confession a means by which repentance and restoration are possible. Let’s be courageous and hope-filled.
There is so much more to say about the art of biblical confrontation, which we will explore together in upcoming articles. For now, let’s pray and plan our approach with godly intention.